This is kind of a scary project for me, improving myself is something i seem to always thinking about to the point of slight obsession. I’ve talked to therapists, friends, and family members about how I can improve my being and analyzed and re-analyzed and picked apart almost every choice I have made. I panic over imperfections, i’ve asked every single person you can think of what i can do better and how i can be better and in doing so i have sacrificed many parts of myself and annoyed the living daylights out of every one of my friends. Homework is pushed to the side so I can spend hours every single night talking to myself through every choice I’ve made and every thought I’ve thought and how I can fix what often isn’t broken. A goal that I have with this project and something that I admire about Benjamin Franklin’s project and I think is a part of the success that Benjamin franklin was able to achieve was that there is an end. There is a point where you stop analyzing and you make yourself live in your new moral world and I think that having a plan and not changing it is an important aspect of this project for me. The aspects of morality that I plan on working on are cleanliness, organization, resolution, tranquility, and being comfortable being human.
I tend to try to be a clean person, depending on your definition of clean, but there have been times where stale cups of coffee will pile up on my desk for a few days, I leave trash in my car, or forget to wash my face and brush my teeth before bed. I will put cleaning at the top of my priority list, to keep myself clean in my being, and my space in a picked up clean condition. I want to work on organization in my day, going to bed at a set time, having set space and time for meals which is something i have struggled with in the past, and having set time and space to respond to people. I want to work on resolution, doing the things that i say i am going to do. I have a tendency to be flaky and iffy with time, being late and not showing things when I say I will, or not responding when I get the chance. I know it’s rude and that’s why it’s being worked on. I have issues keeping a level head when issues come my way, I obsess over things, making sure I don’t let my own thoughts get in the way of my peace no matter what is going on is going to be an important part of me reaching moral ok-ness. And the last one is a bit less straightforward and I want to spend the next week defining what I mean by allowing myself to be a person without trying to think too much of how others are perceiving while I do that. I want to keep myself from doing things because I think it’s what others expect of me. And with that i don’t have to be perfect in this project, i will make mistakes and my goal isn’t moral perfection it’s something better than what i’m doing right now.
